me: omg i'm going to get all skinny and toned for summer and then i can wear crop tops and short shorts and i'll have that perfect gap between my thighs and it will be perfect
me: is that cake
In loving memory of Malachi Chace
It’s been 6 years. Six years since I lost one of the closest people to me. Six years since I’ve seen or heard or hugged my brother. No one fucking gets how hard it is. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been. The pain on days is subsided and it’s not as intense, but it is always there. Always. Losing someone so close is the shittiest fucking feeling. Every birthday or holiday I still half expect Ki to just call me and ask what time to come over. I find it unfair that I get to live and he’s gone. He was so amazing. There’s no amount of words to describe his soul. He was funny and kind and it was impossible to hate him. I miss his kisses and hugs. His talks that reminded me I wasn’t alone. I miss how things were before he passed. I wish he was here. I wish I had my big brother back to protect me from everything. I have to experience everything first hand and that was supposed to be him. I just fucking miss him.
Meh.
I want you to come over and wear sweats with me as we sit on my couch eating popcorn and watching fantasy factory. I want to drive around with you and listen to cheesy ass pop songs we can sing like fucktards. I want to walk around tumwater falls park with you and talk about life. I want to drive to nowhere with you. I want to go to a drive in movie and sit on the tailgate wrapped in a blanket. I want to make you dinner. I want to rub your shoulders and let you vent all your stresses. I want to slow dance with you in my room to a blink 182 song. I want you to come over and hangout with me and bestfriend. I want you to be my other bestfriend. I want to sit on a dock after a swim and talk about nothing and everything. I want to give you big hugs. I want to kiss you whenever I want. Pretty much I just really fucking want you.
